Originally posted on September 30th, 2015

This just in, nothing vaguely interesting happened today at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. The once prominently absurd escapades of Douglas and its students have taken a day off and been replaced by a public school learning environment. The only positive news of today was test scores have gone up, like actual test scores! While most students find it difficult to pass a literacy test on a normal day, today was slightly brighter, and to those students who can’t read this- go back to pointing at the pictures on the Denny’s menu.

The student body was shocked to receive no important information about the ongoings of Douglas. “Just give me something; a kid slipping on a banana peel or bowling team goes on strike. I’ll even take another Thompson Twitter story. Anything man, I’m desperate” stated thirsty student Jordan Candor.

Hopefully tomorrow a rap battle breaks out, or something.