Mr. Cola (no relation) has announced his transition from teaching into being a vending machine full time. “I realized how much money students were spending in sodas and candy everyday so I started selling them myself, when I realized I was making more money part time as a vending machine I quit teaching and took on the full time position as vending machine #12”.

The only advantage Mr. Cola has over the rest of the regular vending machines is that he gets actual, non-diet sodas, from the Douglas Black Market. “We don’t mind supplying him, as long as he doesn’t teach AP Physics anymore”.

Teachers have their fair share of mixed opinions on this recent development. One english teacher criticized Mr.Cola saying that “[He] found an easy way out, instead of finding joy in turning stupid students into slightly less stupid students”. Mr. Humphrey added that “I’m just mad at myself for not thinking about the idea earlier”.

Students don’t seem to mind that a middle aged man is the care taker of their snacks stating “I really can’t tell the difference, they are both equally cold and lifeless”