The Cold Beak is expanding; now with both a website and Twitter page to display our news to the students of Douglas. To initiate this growth of the Cold Beak Media Empire, here is the interview of the century with Aaron Byron, the pep rally penis.

Cold Beak: Why? What motivated you to pull off one of the most memorable moments of senior year

Aaron: Well Mr. Beak, I simply have a passion in my pants. And I wanted to make my mark in Douglas’ history in the most hilariously savage but non-harmful way possible.

 

CB: Was it worth it? Were the consequences severe?

A: F%#k yeah it was worth it. I did get what I like to call a longer weekend AKA a one day suspension; but also got fired from my staff position in JROTC but I still dont regret what I did whatsoever.

CB: Finally, why not a white dick? This is Parkland after all.

A: Well, I would have had to be a lot shorter if I ordered the white dick costume….sorry Heron Bay boys ❤