Swine flu spreads after pig bowl: Thompson OK

Following Douglas’s dominant performance in the annual pig bowl, tragedy struck, several upperclassmen spent the weekend bed ridden with serious cases of swine flu. “It was worth it, watching our football team play at a high level, it’s something I never thought I’d see- like Bigfoot or a stable economy- it was simply wonderful”,but when asked about his illness the student added “swine flu sucks, it’s not even in style anymore it’s so 2012” .

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Thompson released a public statement thanking the football team for keeping him healthy for the first time in 6 years.

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