Originally posted on September 30th, 2015 This just in, nothing vaguely interesting happened today at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. The once prominently absurd escapades of Douglas and its students have taken a day off and been replaced by a public school learning environment. The only positive news of today was test scores have gone up, like actual test scores! While most students find it … Continue reading NOTHING HAPPENS AT DOUGLAS

Originally posted on September 18th, 2015 Following up on yesterday’s gripping story about the bell replacement, Douglas High’s administration realized the error of their ways when students started a fire at 1:44PM this afternoon. The alarm rang in response due to a bunsen burner fencing match in the chemistry lab. But much to the surprise of Douglas Staff, students, now used to the loud buzz, … Continue reading UPDATE: FIRE BREAKS OUT, STUDENTS CASUALLY TO NEXT CLASS