VIP bathroom passes sold across Douglas’ black market

Originally posted on September 15th, 2015.

Over the past century schools have become synonymous with restroom or hall passes. After intense research and many potty visits, the Cold Beak found a trail of counterfeit bathroom passes. “I told the school to secure the passes, they thought that a laniard and some laminated paper would do the trick. Boy were they wrong” said local plunger enthusiast Clyde Atson.

After this shocking story,the Cold Beak began to notice many social media posts from the students using this deep network of bathroom passes depict a developing bathroom caste system (pictured above). When reached for comment principal Thompson stated “these thing are great, they’ve already gotten me out if four school board meetings” as he held his gold laminated bathroom pass up to our faces.

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